Weddings

I Think I Will Take The Easy Way Out.

Posted on March 16, 2010. Filed under: Family, God, Love, Marriage, Personal Happiness, Weddings | Tags: , , , , , |

“I think I will take the easy way out!” Okay, I’m sure my statement confuses you, plus you are probably wondering what I am talking about, and where I am going with these thoughts.  Well, it is quite simple really; I am planning on living a long time and getting old together with my wife.  We have already been married over 24 years, which has not always been easy, but it certainly has been an exciting adventure.  Going through life is an adventure no matter how we look at it, so I might as well have a partner I enjoy experiencing the ride with.

If I offend you with what I am going to say next, then I apologize for that, but I am not sorry for speaking what I would consider the truth.  You see, in our culture, we have made it simply too easy to bail out on marriages as soon as we feel that it is not going the way we had planned.  Unfortunately, I do not know anyone, except for God, who knows what is going to happen next in his or her lives.  If we truly believe that our happiness is based on our ability to negotiate a path through life which does not have any left turns, right turns, or 180’s, then we need to have another look around, seek another perspective, and probably embrace the reality that we cannot, under any circumstances, make life go exactly the way we would like it or plan it, there are just too many variables.

The problem is, especially evident in our culture; we believe we can draw up the perfect plan for our lives, one that we can control, as if we were the only person on the planet.  Well, we certainly will not be able to control every outcome in life, considering all of the people in the world making decisions based on emotions, conditions, plans, and hopes, etc. There really is no way we will be able to dial-up every aspect of our lives in a way where the end result will be “exactly according to Hoyle”, as the saying goes.

Of course, this holds true when two people come together in marriage.  Personally, I believe in the commitment I made to my wife when we got married, committed to a life of richer or poorer, health or sickness, happiness or sorrow; I am committed to participating in life’s adventure until we grow old together.  Jesus said in Matthew 19:9 ESV, “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”  I recognize there are circumstances such as abuse, when a spouse could be in harm’s way if they were to stay with in their marriage.  But, by and large, I am convinced that if couples would work together, putting God first in their lives, they would be able to accomplish what was said in most wedding ceremonies, which is they stay together “till death do us part.”

To me the bottom line is the fact that in our culture too many people do not fulfill their commitment to their marriages.  It is too convenient to dissolve a marriage and move on.  People think when they get a divorce, in order to pursue a different avenue in life, which may include another mate, they are taking the easy way out.  I do not believe they are taking the easy way out when a divorce comes so easy, but rather a road to incomplete fulfillment of a life of happiness with someone they supposedly once loved.  Staying with your spouse, working through any difficulties you may have seems to the best way to have a life full of love and worth.  Yes, I think I will take the easy way out, and stay with my wife until we grow old together.

May you have a committed life with whomever God has put you in a relationship with,

Daryl Dho

Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )

All You Need Is Love

Posted on March 11, 2010. Filed under: Love, Marriage, Weddings | Tags: , , , |

I am guessing that most people, 5 years of age and older, have probably heard and can recite most or many of the words of the 1967 classic Beatles song, “All You Need Is Love.” I appreciate the song similar to billions of others worldwide, but The Beatles only had part of the equation correct.  They understood the importance of the line “All you need is love, love is all you need”, but the grabber of my mind is they never define “love” in the song.

Our world, filled with death and destruction, high rates of divorce, poverty, hatred, discrimination, slavery, and many other less than desirable circumstances, desperately needs a vaccine of love.  But many people are perplexed as to what love is.  Certainly, we need to spread love in our world in a way which reaches every nook and cranny of society.  But, upon our examination, what are the characteristics of authentic love and how can it be most readily defined?

Think about all of the weddings you have attended in your life for a moment; how many of them included the words from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 in the ceremony?   Here is God’s wonderful description of love from His word in the ESV translation, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”  This passage in the Bible represents what many consider the perfect description of love?  During the wedding ceremony, we all desire to understand and characterize what love is, in order to equate how the couple will live their life together, “till death do us part.”

But this love we so readily desire comes from God, as we read in 1 John 4:7-8, which states, “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”  Yes, it is important we realize that the beautiful love described in 1 Corinthians comes from God.  If we abide in this life in a way where we put God first in all things, allowing His Holy Spirit to indwell us in a way which radiates love to a world crying out for love, then we, in turn, will realize a peace which comes only from our Heavenly Father, a peace which will transcend all other aspects in our lives, contributing to our willingness to care for others more than ourselves.  If we share the kind of love Paul describes in 1 Corinthians, then we should comprehend love, and others we be on the receiving end of our love, which we receive from God, the creator, and when we do that, we can satisfyingly state, “All you need is love.”  A better world awaits our ability to love, so purposefully act in a way that portrays the love described in God’s word.

Go and bless someone’s life today by authentically loving them.

Daryl Dho

Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )

Marriage is a Roller Coaster Ride, So Stay Committed to the Adventure

Posted on December 30, 2009. Filed under: Adversity, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Love, Marriage, Weddings | Tags: , , , , , , , |

Life is similar to riding on a roller coaster, and marriage, being the union of two individuals, is no different.  When two people come together as one, they choose to play a role in each others story together, engaged in the ups and downs of the roller coaster ride we call life.  Since life is jam packed with the unknown, at times bearing its ugly side upon us when we are not looking, all of us should be prepared for what lurks next in our day, week, month, or year.

Most of us would like to write our own story of what will happen in life, they are called dreams.  As a child, we begin to dream about how we will spend our lives in our vocations, who we will be married to, or where we will travel.  We want to pattern our life with the things which we believe are valuable, so we attempt to plan ahead exactly how our lives will progress, and how we will take each step of our journey.  When we finally meet “Mr. or Mrs. Right”, we put together a big vision of how our lives will proceed from that point on, including all of the fairy tale aspects we have dreamed of and how perfect all of the facets of our story will be savored.  It is during this dreaming where many of us fail to realize life, including marriage, is a roller coaster ride, and we need to stay committed to the adventure.

On the 28th of December, 2009, my wife and I celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary.  As I reflect on the last 24 years of our lives together, with all its joys, triumphs, struggles, and mishaps, I grasp an important truth.  My life, or should I state, our lives, has not proceeded, “according to hoyle”, as the saying goes.  When I began my life as an adult, in time getting married, I had many different plans I desired to be fulfilled, many dreams of how the story of our lives would be written.  Then we began making choices, which at the time we believed were in accordance with our plans, to bring us into our reality of how we could accomplish our dreams.  Many of our plans resulted in failure, or were abandoned.  But there is one aspect of my life that is a huge blessing to me and continues to be successful; my marriage.  It is still vital and wonderful, as my wife and I believe in the commitment of marriage; “til death do us part”, as the wedding vows stated.  I acknowledged many years ago the fact that marriage is a roller coaster ride, so I decided to stay committed to the adventure.

There are no guarantees in life, and we are not promised wealth, fame, or love.  When we are fortunate to have accomplished any of our dreams, we may begin to think we have “made it”.  But, we certainly can all attest to the fact that on the roller coaster ride we call life, what goes up, at some point, must come down.  It’s how we deal with life when we have these struggles that I believe makes a difference in our happiness.  Most people can cope with life when things are going their way, but how do we manage the inevitable difficulties and obstacles we are faced with at some point during our adventure?  How we choose to engage in these activities, which can be very challenging and difficult, is critical to our happiness.  Marriage, being a part of many peoples lives, is a roller coaster ride, so stay committed to the adventure.

Unfortunately, when many married couples find themselves in a situation that doesn’t go along with what they believe is their dream life, then they want to bail out.  At times, all of us have troubles, but many do not want to acknowledge this, because it doesn’t fit into our dreams and plan of life.  So, for many married couples, divorce happens.  During the last 24 years of my adventure with my wife, we have had many ups and downs, joys and sorrows, accomplished dreams and had failure.  But, at the end of the day, I still have her by my side, because we are committed to each other, to our marriage, and to the love we share in our family.  When I married my wife 24 years ago, I married my best friend, not someone who is disposable.  She stands by me, and I by her during every day of our lives, without condition.  I trust, and give trust, I forgive and am forgiven, I love, and am loved, and this is how we make it through every day of our adventure.

In the Bible, Genesis 2:24 (ESV) states, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”  This sacred union is one that should not be taken lightly, but I feel many do.  It becomes convenient for many in our society to throw their marriage into “the muck” when dealt an unfavorable hand, for they have lost the ideal of the commitment made on their wedding day.  Many choose to forget the vows they made, neglecting to continue the lifelong commitment.  Matthew 19:6 talks about our marriage commitment as it says, “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”  If we do not seriously acknowledge that commitment, as well as the fact that marriage is suppose to be a sacred union designated by God, then I believe we will struggle when an obstacle comes in our path.

I enjoy my life and my wife, as she has given me a lifelong commitment of caring, forgiveness, love, and togetherness.  I believe that is what we all want, someone to share life with.  No one wants to be alone, for life is easier when we have a partner.  It is all the more better when that person is our best friend, the one who will do anything for us, even to the death.  My encouragement to those who may be struggling with your marriage is this; remember what you were thinking about when you first got married, and go back there.  Instill in your marriage trust, forgiveness, and love, in order that you will once again recognize the commitment to each other you made in the beginning.  Life and marriage is a roller coaster ride, so stay committed to the adventure.

May your journey through the adventure of life be blessed,

Daryl Dho

Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )

Liked it here?
Why not try sites on the blogroll...