Marriage

Happy Mother’s Day-A Husband’s Perspective

Posted on May 9, 2010. Filed under: Creation, Family, Marriage, Mothers, Sacrifice | Tags: , , , , |

We all have mothers.  But, I am sure many of you have different opinions concerning who your mom is, and what your mom represents in your life.  Some of you never knew your birth mom, some have an adopted mom, some of your mom’s left you of mom and say-

“Happy Mother’s Day”- from a husband’s perspective!

You may be asking yourself, why is he telling us about mom’s from a husband’s perspective?  The answer is quite simple, really.  You see, after getting married, it is like I have two moms now.  I say that because while I grew up at home with my parents, my mom filled that necessary roll in my life.  This next statement may throw some for a loop, but shouldn’t if you really look into your heart.  Most men are just big kids, so our wives take on this role of being like a mom to us.

My mom and my wife are everything you can imagine a mom would be.  Here is a list of things representing what a mom is to me.

1. She is your house for 9 months.
2. She eats for two, as her body grows at a pace she had never thought possible, and now, the clothes she use to wear that made her feel “hot” do not fit anymore.
3. In willing to suffer great pain and agony while giving birth, many times screaming and crying very loud during the process, she is blessed with a calming in her spirit as her newborn enters this world, and she is told-It’s a boy or It’s a girl for the first time.  All the pain goes away, becoming tears of joy as she holds her newborn.
4. She nurses and feeds the baby, getting up in the middle of the night when it cries.
5. Does the dishes.
6. Cooks the meal.
7. Does the laundry.
8. Pays the bills.
9. Cleans the house.
10. Takes care of the yard.
11. Is a nurse to everyone in the house.
12. Is the one person in the house everyone leans on or snuggles up to, because she is a greater comforter.
13. She reads to the children.
14. Helps them with their homework.
15. Gets excited when the kids tell her about their schoolwork or project.
16. Always goes to the kid’s events, such as sports, music, dance, or other performances.
17. Keeps peace in the house.
18. Always seems to know the right thing to say, at a time you need to hear it.
19. Tucks you in at night, making you feel cozy.
20. Can talk to you on phone as long as you need to.
21. Is understanding when you make a mistake; you just don’t want to get Mom mad.

22. She prays for everyone.

23. She is the greatest nurturer of all time.

24. Does all these things and gets paid NOTHING!

25. All these things, and works 40 hours at another job.

26. And a million other thankless duties……………..

Here is the bottom line, mom’s do everything there is to do in a household, without complaining, without thoughts of her own well being, without thoughts of “what’s in it for me”, by putting the needs of others before herself, always willing to sacrifice for the greater good of the family.  The original mom, Eve, was giving by God to Adam to be his helper. In the Bible, in Genesis (Gen 2:18; 21-22), we read, “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”  So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.  And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.

I am grateful God gave me my mom and my wife, who both do all of those things listed above, and a whole lot more.  If I wrote everything a mom does in this article, I would be writing forever.  The most important aspect of what a mom does is love.  Mom’s truly care for and have unconditional love for those God has put in their lives.  Moms live a life of sacrifice, full of love and compassion, nurturing their families as long as they physically can on this earth.

In a sense, I have two moms.  My mom, who gave birth to me, still cares for, loves, guides and directs me in my life, always wanted to nurture me, it’s in her nature.  My wife fills the role of caring for my children, plus caring for me, the big kid, because of her unconditional love for us, and her nurturing way.

God made moms special, and for that there are not enough thanks to go around.  Make sure you tell those who fill this role in your life that you love them today.

Happy Mother’s Day

May God bless your day,

Daryl Dho

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Overcome My Guilt; The Pain Of Seeking Sobriety

Posted on April 5, 2010. Filed under: Forgiveness, God, Love, Marriage, Salvation, Sobriety | Tags: , , , , , |

How many of us feel lost in our own guilt, shame, or self-doubt? I imagine there are many who feel this way, many who choose a path, which at times leads to a denial of their own feelings. Many people turn to destructive ways, including abusing prescriptions, alcohol, or illicit drugs. This numbing of our mind and body usually results in a lower feeling of self-worth, illness, broken relationships, and failure in life’s ambitions. We become separated from how God intended to live our lives, and in the end, we may suffer an emotion of guilt for how we are living our lives. As we continue on our destructive path, we find it tough to separate ourselves from a mood of guilt, and begin to feel as if we must bear this guilt on our backs forever. When we try to overcome our guilt, we may find there is pain in seeking sobriety.

As a consequence of our guilt and sin, our patterns of life habits may turn into greater abuses of our body, mind, and those around us. Because of this pattern of living, we begin to exclude those whom we care for and love, from our time and life experiences. We unfortunately have fallen into a trap of denial, concerning truth and reality, concerning the certainty that we are spiraling into a self-destructive way, all the way to the bottom. At some point in our relationships with others, we may even lash out in unnecessary anger, neglect them completely by shutting them out of our feelings, or quite possibly injure our relationships, due to mental or physical abuse.

I have been there and done that. I have fallen into the trap of self-abuse through substance abuse, of which the consequence was a strained relationship with my wife, children who were put in danger, and a feeling of guilt beyond measure. I was trapped in my sin of substance abuse, one that had taken me on a 20-year journey, one for which I did not believe there was a way out. I was not a happy man, continuously hiding away and seeking pleasure from substances, which at the end of the day, left me only feeling completely empty, and void of any hope.

When I sought help for my substance abuse, got sober, and began to adjust my life, I still was ridden with guilt, and the question became this; how would I overcome my guilt? My sins were still there, my pattern of life was adjusting, but I still had the guilt of sin. I had not discovered a remedy for how I felt about all of the sins I had committed and all of the sins and wrongs I still was doing in my life. I was still stuck in sin. Or was I?

Even though I had stopped the symptom of my behavior, as I was no longer involved in substance abuse, I still was dealing with the feeling of overwhelming guilt, the shame of how I had lived my life, the disgrace of how I had treated my wife and family. Then I discovered some good news. There is a way out of the feeling I was unnecessarily carrying around, the feeling that I would not be able to overcome my guilt. Romans 8:1-2(ESV) says, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.” Once I became a part of life with Christ, I was set free from the bondage of sin, the guilt and shame I carried on my back was now shouldered by the Lord of the universe, Jesus Christ, who came to the world to redeem us from our sins. For that, I am eternally grateful. I am truly blessed, for now I am free, and no longer in need of a way to overcome my guilt from sin. Jesus is the way, and the truth, and the life (John 14:6).

May you be guilt free and blessed in your life,

Daryl Dho

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I Think I Will Take The Easy Way Out.

Posted on March 16, 2010. Filed under: Family, God, Love, Marriage, Personal Happiness, Weddings | Tags: , , , , , |

“I think I will take the easy way out!” Okay, I’m sure my statement confuses you, plus you are probably wondering what I am talking about, and where I am going with these thoughts.  Well, it is quite simple really; I am planning on living a long time and getting old together with my wife.  We have already been married over 24 years, which has not always been easy, but it certainly has been an exciting adventure.  Going through life is an adventure no matter how we look at it, so I might as well have a partner I enjoy experiencing the ride with.

If I offend you with what I am going to say next, then I apologize for that, but I am not sorry for speaking what I would consider the truth.  You see, in our culture, we have made it simply too easy to bail out on marriages as soon as we feel that it is not going the way we had planned.  Unfortunately, I do not know anyone, except for God, who knows what is going to happen next in his or her lives.  If we truly believe that our happiness is based on our ability to negotiate a path through life which does not have any left turns, right turns, or 180’s, then we need to have another look around, seek another perspective, and probably embrace the reality that we cannot, under any circumstances, make life go exactly the way we would like it or plan it, there are just too many variables.

The problem is, especially evident in our culture; we believe we can draw up the perfect plan for our lives, one that we can control, as if we were the only person on the planet.  Well, we certainly will not be able to control every outcome in life, considering all of the people in the world making decisions based on emotions, conditions, plans, and hopes, etc. There really is no way we will be able to dial-up every aspect of our lives in a way where the end result will be “exactly according to Hoyle”, as the saying goes.

Of course, this holds true when two people come together in marriage.  Personally, I believe in the commitment I made to my wife when we got married, committed to a life of richer or poorer, health or sickness, happiness or sorrow; I am committed to participating in life’s adventure until we grow old together.  Jesus said in Matthew 19:9 ESV, “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”  I recognize there are circumstances such as abuse, when a spouse could be in harm’s way if they were to stay with in their marriage.  But, by and large, I am convinced that if couples would work together, putting God first in their lives, they would be able to accomplish what was said in most wedding ceremonies, which is they stay together “till death do us part.”

To me the bottom line is the fact that in our culture too many people do not fulfill their commitment to their marriages.  It is too convenient to dissolve a marriage and move on.  People think when they get a divorce, in order to pursue a different avenue in life, which may include another mate, they are taking the easy way out.  I do not believe they are taking the easy way out when a divorce comes so easy, but rather a road to incomplete fulfillment of a life of happiness with someone they supposedly once loved.  Staying with your spouse, working through any difficulties you may have seems to the best way to have a life full of love and worth.  Yes, I think I will take the easy way out, and stay with my wife until we grow old together.

May you have a committed life with whomever God has put you in a relationship with,

Daryl Dho

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All You Need Is Love

Posted on March 11, 2010. Filed under: Love, Marriage, Weddings | Tags: , , , |

I am guessing that most people, 5 years of age and older, have probably heard and can recite most or many of the words of the 1967 classic Beatles song, “All You Need Is Love.” I appreciate the song similar to billions of others worldwide, but The Beatles only had part of the equation correct.  They understood the importance of the line “All you need is love, love is all you need”, but the grabber of my mind is they never define “love” in the song.

Our world, filled with death and destruction, high rates of divorce, poverty, hatred, discrimination, slavery, and many other less than desirable circumstances, desperately needs a vaccine of love.  But many people are perplexed as to what love is.  Certainly, we need to spread love in our world in a way which reaches every nook and cranny of society.  But, upon our examination, what are the characteristics of authentic love and how can it be most readily defined?

Think about all of the weddings you have attended in your life for a moment; how many of them included the words from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 in the ceremony?   Here is God’s wonderful description of love from His word in the ESV translation, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”  This passage in the Bible represents what many consider the perfect description of love?  During the wedding ceremony, we all desire to understand and characterize what love is, in order to equate how the couple will live their life together, “till death do us part.”

But this love we so readily desire comes from God, as we read in 1 John 4:7-8, which states, “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”  Yes, it is important we realize that the beautiful love described in 1 Corinthians comes from God.  If we abide in this life in a way where we put God first in all things, allowing His Holy Spirit to indwell us in a way which radiates love to a world crying out for love, then we, in turn, will realize a peace which comes only from our Heavenly Father, a peace which will transcend all other aspects in our lives, contributing to our willingness to care for others more than ourselves.  If we share the kind of love Paul describes in 1 Corinthians, then we should comprehend love, and others we be on the receiving end of our love, which we receive from God, the creator, and when we do that, we can satisfyingly state, “All you need is love.”  A better world awaits our ability to love, so purposefully act in a way that portrays the love described in God’s word.

Go and bless someone’s life today by authentically loving them.

Daryl Dho

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Marriage is a Roller Coaster Ride, So Stay Committed to the Adventure

Posted on December 30, 2009. Filed under: Adversity, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Love, Marriage, Weddings | Tags: , , , , , , , |

Life is similar to riding on a roller coaster, and marriage, being the union of two individuals, is no different.  When two people come together as one, they choose to play a role in each others story together, engaged in the ups and downs of the roller coaster ride we call life.  Since life is jam packed with the unknown, at times bearing its ugly side upon us when we are not looking, all of us should be prepared for what lurks next in our day, week, month, or year.

Most of us would like to write our own story of what will happen in life, they are called dreams.  As a child, we begin to dream about how we will spend our lives in our vocations, who we will be married to, or where we will travel.  We want to pattern our life with the things which we believe are valuable, so we attempt to plan ahead exactly how our lives will progress, and how we will take each step of our journey.  When we finally meet “Mr. or Mrs. Right”, we put together a big vision of how our lives will proceed from that point on, including all of the fairy tale aspects we have dreamed of and how perfect all of the facets of our story will be savored.  It is during this dreaming where many of us fail to realize life, including marriage, is a roller coaster ride, and we need to stay committed to the adventure.

On the 28th of December, 2009, my wife and I celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary.  As I reflect on the last 24 years of our lives together, with all its joys, triumphs, struggles, and mishaps, I grasp an important truth.  My life, or should I state, our lives, has not proceeded, “according to hoyle”, as the saying goes.  When I began my life as an adult, in time getting married, I had many different plans I desired to be fulfilled, many dreams of how the story of our lives would be written.  Then we began making choices, which at the time we believed were in accordance with our plans, to bring us into our reality of how we could accomplish our dreams.  Many of our plans resulted in failure, or were abandoned.  But there is one aspect of my life that is a huge blessing to me and continues to be successful; my marriage.  It is still vital and wonderful, as my wife and I believe in the commitment of marriage; “til death do us part”, as the wedding vows stated.  I acknowledged many years ago the fact that marriage is a roller coaster ride, so I decided to stay committed to the adventure.

There are no guarantees in life, and we are not promised wealth, fame, or love.  When we are fortunate to have accomplished any of our dreams, we may begin to think we have “made it”.  But, we certainly can all attest to the fact that on the roller coaster ride we call life, what goes up, at some point, must come down.  It’s how we deal with life when we have these struggles that I believe makes a difference in our happiness.  Most people can cope with life when things are going their way, but how do we manage the inevitable difficulties and obstacles we are faced with at some point during our adventure?  How we choose to engage in these activities, which can be very challenging and difficult, is critical to our happiness.  Marriage, being a part of many peoples lives, is a roller coaster ride, so stay committed to the adventure.

Unfortunately, when many married couples find themselves in a situation that doesn’t go along with what they believe is their dream life, then they want to bail out.  At times, all of us have troubles, but many do not want to acknowledge this, because it doesn’t fit into our dreams and plan of life.  So, for many married couples, divorce happens.  During the last 24 years of my adventure with my wife, we have had many ups and downs, joys and sorrows, accomplished dreams and had failure.  But, at the end of the day, I still have her by my side, because we are committed to each other, to our marriage, and to the love we share in our family.  When I married my wife 24 years ago, I married my best friend, not someone who is disposable.  She stands by me, and I by her during every day of our lives, without condition.  I trust, and give trust, I forgive and am forgiven, I love, and am loved, and this is how we make it through every day of our adventure.

In the Bible, Genesis 2:24 (ESV) states, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”  This sacred union is one that should not be taken lightly, but I feel many do.  It becomes convenient for many in our society to throw their marriage into “the muck” when dealt an unfavorable hand, for they have lost the ideal of the commitment made on their wedding day.  Many choose to forget the vows they made, neglecting to continue the lifelong commitment.  Matthew 19:6 talks about our marriage commitment as it says, “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”  If we do not seriously acknowledge that commitment, as well as the fact that marriage is suppose to be a sacred union designated by God, then I believe we will struggle when an obstacle comes in our path.

I enjoy my life and my wife, as she has given me a lifelong commitment of caring, forgiveness, love, and togetherness.  I believe that is what we all want, someone to share life with.  No one wants to be alone, for life is easier when we have a partner.  It is all the more better when that person is our best friend, the one who will do anything for us, even to the death.  My encouragement to those who may be struggling with your marriage is this; remember what you were thinking about when you first got married, and go back there.  Instill in your marriage trust, forgiveness, and love, in order that you will once again recognize the commitment to each other you made in the beginning.  Life and marriage is a roller coaster ride, so stay committed to the adventure.

May your journey through the adventure of life be blessed,

Daryl Dho

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From The Depths Of Despair, I Found Life One Day At A Time

Posted on August 9, 2009. Filed under: Adversity, Faith, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Marriage, Personal Happiness, Sacrifice, Salvation | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

15 years ago today, I reached a point in my life, where I really did not want to go on. I hated the way I was, a drunken, drug using misfit of a man, who thought he could control every situation, yet my life was in a complete tailspin. I masked over who I truly was by acting like I was someone other than the person I was inside, an alcohol and a drug addict, but I just could not concede to it. For the prior few years I had abhorred my condition, but was so deep into my addiction, that it seemed as if their was no way out. I dwelled in sorrow each and every day, as I poured alcohol down my throat, coupling it with prescription drugs, or any other that I could get my hands on, in order to numb my internal mental anguish.

The misery I felt was from a lifetime of attempting to be someone I was not, aspiring to measure up to every one else’s standards of who they thought I should be. I started drinking and using drugs when I was 13 years old, and by the time I was 33 years old, it was not fun anymore, it was just a way to dull my own self image to a point where I would no longer care what others perceive about me. In doing so, I became invincible, or so I thought, but really I became invisible to myself, not wanting to even be near the shell of a man I had become. I was disgusted with myself, but could not get out. I could not relinquish the torment, nor could I end the daily pattern of substance abuse, I was totally, physically addicted. Where, and how would it end? There had to be something better than the life that I was living!

Wanting to stop for the previous few years of my abuse had crossed my mind, but the thoughts were only fleeting. Not having the ability to block out the suffering I felt inside of being inferior and unable to deal with life’s challenges continued, which meant that drinking seemed to be the only way I knew how to deal with life. In my mind I could still function while dealing with the pain using alcohol and drugs, because I would not drink during work, although there were times that I used drugs during work; so some how in my warped mindset that was suitable. To me, as long as I could go to work, even though I may be still drunk with a hangover, I was all right. I did this day after day, year after year, black out after black out, not remembering half the time what I did the night before, but would somehow get up out of bed and go to work every morning, so to me that meant that I was fit as a man and a human being, no problem here. But if I were to admit the truth to you, I knew that I was in the depths of despair, where would I turn to next. There had to be a solution to the way that I was feeling, lost in this delusion that I had everything under control.

You may guess at this point, that my wife and I had some discussions about me possibly having a problem. Of course, I was in denial, my addiction had complete control over me. I did not like the way I was living my life, as I did not take satisfaction in the way I felt inside, which was a feeling of loneliness, of not being accepted, and worthlessness. I was still struggling with pride, of being a strong man, of failure, and not wanting to admit I had a problem; the bottom line was that I was utterly and completely in denial about my ability to cope with my substance abuse problem and how to deal with life head on as it happens.

People around me did not know that I had these feelings about myself, since after all, I kept them to myself. To those in my sphere of influence, they knew me as Daryl the party guy, Mr. Happy Go Lucky, the guy who can drink every one under the table. Unfortunately, many of them saw that my substance use had become substance abuse, which I found out later on, and that is the sad part, for no one had mentioned it earlier. But my wife, she stood by me during all of this, and may God continue to bless her until she goes to heaven for what I put her through, for she never wavered in her faith in our marriage. She still tells me to this day, when I ask her why she stayed with me, that she knew that inside there was a good man that needed to be released. I guess she was correct. There is hope and forgiveness for all of us.

So there I was, after a long night of serious alcohol and drug use 15 years ago today, I found myself in a pickle jar. I was at the junction in my life, I completely despised every aspect of my life, except my wife, kids, parents, and a couple friends. At this point, there was almost nothing worth living for, except them, and I wasn’t sure if I could stop the substance abuse. I had already been through one treatment facility while I was in the US Navy 10 years before, what made me think that I could do it on my own now? I was at THE BOTTOM OF MY LIFE. I could go no lower, I loathed the way that I felt, the way that I looked, the way that I felt people perceived me, everything about me; I had to change, I was in the depths of despair. There must be a way to get help!

So I got a pamphlet of Alcoholic Anonymous meetings from a psychologist that I went to, and he told me, “if you genuinely want to get sober, then go to one of these meetings.” Well, I knew that I was at the bottom of the well in my life, and that if I did not do something soon, I would die sooner than I should. There were many times that I thought about killing myself, but I couldn’t do it, something always prevented me from it; the same way I was always safeguarded from getting hurt or killed during my alcoholic and drug years. I believe now, that for those 20 years of abuse, God, whom I did not know, watched over and protected me, for His desire was for me to get to this day and beyond, to tell His story of the Gospel to world.

So, I picked out a meeting from the book, went to it, parked out front, and waited for the meeting to start. I could not go in at first, I had to wait, I did not want to talk to anyone, as I was nervous and intimidated. It seems like only yesterday, yet it was 15 years ago, but I was so afraid to go in, because I knew that I was going to have to admit that I had a problem with alcohol to others, and I did not want to. Finally, after I knew the meeting was starting, I went in, and they all made me feel welcome, that was the beginning of my recovery and from the depths of despair, I found life one day at a time. It was August 10, 1994, the day that I began to live my new life, a life free from alcohol and drugs, a life free from having to be troubled by the fears of what others might think of me and what expectations they have. It was the first day of the rest of my life, yet it was only the beginning of the adventure.

I went to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) everyday for a year, and the next year a little less, until at about my 2 year mark of sobriety, when I wanted to know who God was. It was on the first Sunday of September in 1996 when I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I believe God brought me to AA, keeping me safe for all those years, and now requires me to serve Him as a voice of His good news. For I honesty believe that all the years of my life God had been watching over me, protecting me, as He had plans of His own that I need to complete. God is the protector of us all, He loves all of us the same, for we are all sinners and fall short of God’s glory (John 3:23). He wants us to know and love Him as He loves us as 1 John 4:8 and 4:16 says, “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”

We can receive comfort from the Lord as we contemplate about 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 which says, “Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.” It is words like these that give me a satisfying feeling about myself, not having to worry about who I am, or how others perceive me. The burden of sin that I carried was washed away by Jesus, as He hung on the cross, even though I did not deserve the forgiveness. 1 Timothy 1:15-16 says it plainly, “The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.” From the depths of despair, I found life one day at a time, and a Lord and Savior for eternity.

You see, without God, I was still carrying the burden of the sin on my shoulders, but He took the burden and carries it for me, forever. No more, do I have to suffer the anguish of feeling worthless inside, for I know that I have a God who loves me just the way I am, a wretched sinner trying his best each and every day to serve in His kingdom. I attempt to teach my family and those around me about how God, our wonderful God is there to comfort us in our time of need, both good and bad, we do not need to seek refuge anywhere else except in Him. Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33), and God will take care of us, bless us, watch over us, keeping us from peril. We are His children, and like parents do with their children, He watches over to protect us. I was way down into the depths of despair 15 years ago, then I found life one day at a time and Jesus, my Lord and Savior for eternity, will you join me in my quest to share the Gospel with others. Amen

If there is someone you know that is having difficulty in their life with substance abuse, please try to get them help, show them this Blog, encourage them to talk to someone, go to an AA meeting, go to a recovery group at your local church, there are many options, but please try to help them. If you are the person who is in the middle of the substance abuse, and you have not yet come to the point where you can admit to yourself there is a problem, then I say that you just please be honest with yourself, because we are talking about your life, get help now before it is too late.

May you all be blessed,

Daryl Dho

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Beat The Odds, Bet On The Long Shot!

Posted on July 25, 2009. Filed under: Marriage, Salvation | Tags: , |

When my wife met me 24 years and 3 months ago, I was an alcoholic and a drug addict. I went 110 miles per hour all of the time, thinking that I was the master of the universe. I thought that I could conquer anything, including the alcohol and drugs that I was consuming every day. Of course, I was erroneous in my calculation of this, because over time, I began to wear down, eventually not able to maintain the mental capacity of being the master of the universe while under the massive influence of the alcohol and drugs. Certainly, when my then future wife decided to say yes to marrying me, she was going to have to beat the odds, and was going to bet on the long shot!

Maybe for her, see saw something in me that was redeeming enough to think that maybe I shouldn’t be a long shot, therefore, in her mind, the odds were actually lowered. We were young, in love, and got married. 10 years later, 20 years into my addiction, I decided that I had reach the pinnacle of my bottom in life, I could not handle being the way I was anymore, deciding to cease the use of alcohol and drugs. It was at that point that I was going to beat the odds, and I was going to bet on a long shot, me!

But, you see, it was the love that my wife and share for each other that seemed to bridge all of the gaps in our marriage, in order to fill any discrepancy that we had. We were not perfect, either one of us, but that did not seem to matter, because when we looked at each other we saw a life partner, someone that we had made a commitment to for life. This is important, since when we made the commitment, we did not know everything there was to know about each other, you know, the little things; in fact, after 24 plus years we still do not know everything there is to know about each other. I can guarantee you that she does not like every little thing that I do, nor do I her, but that does not matter, did I really expect to when we got married? When people get married they should understand that they are not going to approve of everything that the other person does.

I made a comment the other day that I enjoyed hanging out with my wife, I always have, and I always will. A friend of mine responded back to me by saying that is one of the reasons you are still married and are beating the odds. I got to thinking after that about how much my wife means to me, and me to her. We both are not perfect, both are sinners, for we all are sinners, the Bible clearly points that out, (Romans 3:23, 5:8); yet within this imperfect scenario lies a perfect opportunity for a lifelong marriage. The reason I am saying that it is a perfect opportunity for a lifelong marriage is that we still have to continue to love each other, sacrifice for each other, care for each other, and overlook all of those things that we do not like about each other.

We are imperfect humans, flawed by nature, from the beginning, there is no way that we can expect anything but imperfection from a human. Many of us try to disillusion ourselves with this fallacy that we will have this splendid marriage where everything is rosy and wonderful all of the time, and when it is not, then we want to bail out. What about the commitment? My wife did not bail out on me when I was using alcohol and drugs every day the first 10 years of our marriage. Yes, sometimes I do wonder why she stuck it out, but she beat the odds, and won in the end because she bet on the long shot.

God did not bail out on us either, he sticks it out each and every day. Think about it, almost daily, we can all say that we have bad thoughts or actions in our lives, we are born sinners. But God does not say, “that’s it for you Daryl, I have had it with you, you have sinned too many times, I am done with you.” Of course not, Jesus died for all of our sins, past, present, and future. He paid a hefty price tag, and loves us forever, as Romans 8:38-39 (ESV) says, “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” You see, we all have choices in life every day that we have to make, one of them is where we will spend eternity, but it is easy to beat the odds of our sinning nature, we can put it all on the sure thing, Jesus, it is a guaranteed win. We can be assured that God has given us an opportunity for salvation as evidenced in Titus 2:11-12, “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age.”

Following God is the sure thing, we will beat the odds in life if we do. As we follow God, read the Bible, allow the Holy Spirit to work in our lives, we will find ways to get past all of life’s issues that come up and seem to burden us, distracting us from what we might think is our chosen path, then knocking us down at times. But, I say that we need to forge ahead, look at the big picture, the long shot of life, because we are all long shots, and God did not give up on us, He just keeps loving us. So, keep loving yourself, each other, your spouse, children, neighbors, and friends, even when they do something that you do not like, because that is what God does every time.

Have an awesome and blessed day,

Daryl

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God Created Families To Stay Together

Posted on July 19, 2009. Filed under: Children, Faith, Family, Forgiveness, Marriage | Tags: , , , , , |

Regardless of how harmonious we think that our family seem, every family has some issues with getting along at times. Given enough time, there will be instances when there are disagreements, arguments, and fallout’s in every family. The key to longevity in any family is to learn how to get past those issues and learn to forgive the harming party. But sometimes the person initiating the damaging action doesn’t want to be forgiven, or doesn’t believe that they even wrong. This can cause a lot of stress on the entire family, because the members getting harmed do not know how to interact with those who are doing the actions. But still, I know that God created families to stay together!

At times, it is difficult to bridge the gap, making the family unit work, because there maybe trust issues. Trust is a major component for a family to operate effectively. In order for the family unit to function as such, trust must be held closely by all parties, enacting a equal set of rules between all people involved so that there is no question what the rules are. But when one person doesn’t want to follow those rules, and doesn’t accept responsibility for their actions, then it is difficult to get them to understand what they need to do in order to participate in the family. They may have alienated themselves from the rest of the family, causing additional stress. In this instance, it can be a very delicate scenario on how to get them to interact with the rest of the family. But still, I know that God created families to stay together!

Of course, God makes us all different, some of us are outgoing, others are not. We need to remember that every person that God made, he made for a purpose, and with love for His kingdom. We can find a way to make our families work, sometimes, we just have to work harder and smarter. We have to pray harder, talk to the right people for help, and get the right answers, so that we make the connections and get our families back on track. But ultimately, God wants our families to be operating in a loving and caring way that supports His ways of truth and justice, because I know that God created families to stay together!

God wanted us to have a family with children, to stay together, to love each other, to take care of each other, until we pass into the next life. In Genesis 2:18, the Bible tells us, “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Further in Genesis 2:24 the Bible tells says this, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” And Paul writes in Ephesians 6:1-4, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” It is because of this, that I know that God created families to stay together!

God wants us to build a family, developing our relationships respectfully in the Lord, raising our children to honor their parents and each other as they would the Lord. This can be accomplished, we just need to continue to place our focus on God, and if we do drift away, then we need to get back on track and on the right path to the Lord. All of us fail at times in this, with our families. But when we do, we just need to readjust and get dialed back into God, praying for His guidance. God wants our families to thrive, not be decimated by self seeking or “I give up” attitudes that seem to be prevalent in our society, and it is for this reason that I know God created families to stay together!

We just need to put our trust in the God of the universe, the one who created us, and allow him to take over. Pray a lot more, and rely a lot less on our own strength. I know that I personally need to do this myself. God wants to here our prayers, Psalm 66:19-20 says, “But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer or removed his steadfast love from me!” God listens to our prayers, and wants to answer, we just have to enter into a time of prayer with Him. Also, Ephesians 6:18 says, “praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance”, showing that we need to be continuously in prayer for all things. Let’s don’t give up on our families America, GOD CREATED FAMILIES TO STAY TOGETHER! We should not let God down, let’s make a turn for the better in our country, and bring family back. Pray for the families in America to come together and be united again, for God loves it that way, remember, He wants us together. United We Stand, Divided We Fall.

My prayer is that you are truly blessed each and every day,

Daryl Dho

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Happy Mother’s Day

Posted on May 10, 2009. Filed under: Family, Marriage | Tags: , , |

Happy Mother’s Day to all those Mother’s out there. God’s goodness is evident in a mother as she nurtures her children continuously and tirelessly day after day without any thought for her own agenda or needs. Her entire existence revolves around maintaining her family and raising her children, caring, loving and giving them what they need. This comes natural for them, as God had intended. It is a beautiful thing.

God knew that man couldn’t do this whole earth thing alone, so he provide us with a companion, a woman, who becomes the Mother of our children. Gen. 2:24 says “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and he joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.NASB” God intended man and woman to be together, as one family, to raise our children, and for the man to be the father, and the woman to be the mother. I PRAISE GOD for the MOTHERS.

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